Given the title of this post you might be surprised to learn that this is about a nice little Ice Cream store. But read on, it’s more about why 90%+ of small businesses either fail or never reach any meaningful level of profits for their owners.

What I’m describing below happened a few weeks ago. I had decided to let it go (i.e., not put it on my blog) until I saw a news report about a different small business owner who was complaining that the recession and the politicians and the banks and the IRS were all trying to put him out of business. According to him, he was an innocent victim of the conspiracy to make his business fail (at least that’s the impression I got).

Now back to the Ice Cream store.

I was traveling to a well known city in Texas, I won’t name the city but here’s a hint, the capital of the state. After dinner I took a walk and came upon an Ice Cream store (not a chain). I really love pistachio ice cream, the store looked clean enough so I walk in. The store is small, real small, maybe 12 feet wide and  15 feet deep. Standing behind the counter was a woman maybe 40 years old. She didn’t look up when I walked in the door, not that she didn’t know I was there since the door had one of those bells that clang when the door opens. I was the only customer in the store and as far as I could tell she was the only person working.

General Advisory: Please keep in mind that my profession is helping people buy and sell businesses so I am always looking at businessses from a value perspective…why is biz “A” more profitable than biz “B”, what value will transfer to a biz buyer, what value is forever locked in the head of the potential seller, what is the seller really bad at that a buyer can fix, etc, etc, etc.

So, back to the incident. She still has not acknowledged my presence so I walk the entire 5′ to the counter to look into the case and what do I see? Pistachio…score!!! At this point I make the deliberate effort to say so she can hear me..

“Oh, good..pistachio!”

What do you know, she looks up, cranks her neck around, starts to speak and the conversation goes like this:

(FYI, I laughed several times during this exchange but she didn’t find one thing I had to say even mildly amusing)

Her, “What do you need?”

Me, “What I need is a Congressman who will listen to me but I’m here, surprisingly enough, for ice cream.”
Her, “Then you’ve come to the right place.”
Me, “Really, you can make my congressman listen to me?”
Her, “What’s the matter with you, do you want some ice cream or not?”

Now it’s on!!!!!

Me,” Oh yeah, the ice cream. I want a small cup of pistachio.”
Her, “Two scoops or one?”
Me, “How many scoops come in a small cup?”
Her, “One”
Me, “I’ll take two scoops.”
Her “So you want a medium?”
Me, “Nope, still want a small.”
Her, ” You’re being difficult?”
Me, ” How am I being difficult? I asked for a small, you asked if I wanted one scoop or two and I said two, why wouldn’t I take two?”
Her, “Whatever”
Me, “Does the owner train you to handle customers this way?”
Her, “I am the owner.”
Me, “Who trained you?”
Her, “Is this for here or to go? Please tell me it’s to go.”
Me, “Here is fine.”

Me, “How long have you been here?”
Her, “3 years”
Me, “How’s business?”
Her, “Terrible, plus I gotta put up with a smart ass like you.”

Me, “Since I just paid you $3.76 for a small cup of pistachio would you prefer more people like me or fewer?”
Her, “You’re not gonna shut up are you?”
Me, “I’m here to help you.”
Me, “How long has biz been bad?”
Her, “3 years, it started about 10 minutes after I opened the place.”
Me, “Why do you think biz is terrible?”
Her, “Taxes, regulations, recession, health department, you name it..”
Me, “We weren’t in a recession 3 years ago.”
Her, “I sure as hell was.”
Me, “Do you think any ice cream shops in this city are successful?”
Her, “I have no idea, I guess there are..”
Me, “I’m sure there are, want to know why some are successful?”
Her, “Tell me genius.”
As I walk toward the door ……. Me, “The owner likes their business and makes the customers feel welcome.”
At that point I just walked out the door and didn’t even glance back.